TG Magazine "Letter From the Editor" (same image; new concept)

[No, this isn't a real magazine. But imagine that you've just opened the inaugural issue of a glossy "magazine for TG enthusiasts" and you see the following "Letter From the Editor" and accompanying photograph:]

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Welcome to the inaugural issue of our new magazine, dedicated to the values of the TG community.

When I was first asked to consider taking the job of Editor in Chief (based on my essays and commentary), I drove a hard bargain -- I made clear that I would only agree to assume the responsibility under certain conditions. There were the usual negotiations regarding editorial policies, but for me, the crucial question was personal perspective. As I understood the task, it was very important that I not be limited in my perceptions regarding the TG experience—it was only fair that I be afforded a full understanding of all the philosophical, abstract issues implicit in the subculture.

For these reasons, my conscience dictated that I could only accept the job if I was first transformed into Cindy Crawford. The tremendous expense of such a full-body transformation (particularly involving such a precise and exacting celebrity target) turned out to be a serious strain on the magazine’s meager startup budget, but I insisted that only by turning into the iconic supermodel would I be intellectually qualifed to oversee a publication geared to the concerns of transgender enthusiasts. Along the same demanding lines, I have implemented several bold policy decisions (like the strict corporate dress code forcing me to dress in nothing but Victoria’s Secret bikini lingerie and high heels and the allocation of corporate funds towards buying me a gleaming white Italian Ducati motorcycle).

As our first issue goes to press, I am pleased to report that these stringent efforts towards appreciating the TG ethos have yielded significant results: since my transformation, I have been trapped in a state of perpetual sexual arousal so extreme that, essentially, I’ve had to learn to live with the delicious sensation of lingering on the edge of orgasm at all times. No matter how hard I try, I can’t control the mounting waves of erotic excitement that keep coursing through me -- the magnificent, forbidden thrill of living nearly every waking moment continuously parading my regal, scantily-clad supermodel face and body while secretly tingling with sensual delight has forced me to adjust to a totally new, strange kind of wild joy. The sheer pleasure of being Cindy Crawford just never stops: I thought I’d be getting used to it, but the rushes of surging delight (and the flood of wild happiness they unleash) just grow more and more frequent. So rest assured that, as you peruse our magazine in the months to come, I will personally be fully, deeply investigating the fascinations of the TG experience.

Cindy Crawford
Editor-in-Chief