Amanda's Reading Room: The Skin

Hello.

I'd like to announce a major new caption story in the Reading Room: "The Skin".

It's a 30-page, multi-part story about an ancient artifact that falls into the hands of a naive cross-dresser fresh out of college, courtesy of the estate of his late mother. But someone else wants it too...

Book-style: early-twenties, cross-dressing, M2F, bodysuit, sex (non-consensual, but not glorified; a tiny part of the story)

Check it out at: http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/Amandas_Reading_R oom/

Feedback would be muchly appreciated! :-)

Amanda

It's been a week. Did anybody actually read the story? If so, can someone tell me what they didn't like about it? Feedback doesn't all have to be positive; that's how authors and artists learn to do better.

I read it, and enjoyed it. It has clever ideas, and a good creepy thriller/horror atmosphere.

AndiJF
Thanks, Andi. I needed that. :-)

I read it - the letter at the end was a nice touch. Rather a well done horror story.

I like the ambition of this all around. I truly appreciate the care you took in laying the story out in such a pleasing, professional fashion. I liked the story itself. I'm a fan of your writing, and I like that you try different things, and not simply churn out the same type of story over and over again.

I liked the twists and turns in the story (which I won't mention here). I thought the ending could have been expanded a little, maybe gotten a further glimpse into the new life, but that's always a good thing, to leave the reader wanting more.

I love illustrated stories, but I have to confess that I'm not sure how much the illustrations added to this. I'm not sure if the watermarked backgrounds worked that well (though I love the idea in general). And I'm also not sure about some of the images. the face (your face?) that your putting on the images always has the same (or very similiar) expression, and I think this is a detriment when it gets repeated in the story. It creates an eerie expression when you see a character with the same expression in different images (an expression that doesn't always fit the scenario, such as on page 27).

Anyway, that's my feedback. Hope you find it constructive. I really admire what you're doing and am always happy to see when you've posted a new PDF. I admire your ambition, creating such a big piece. I thoroughly enjoyed this, don't get me wrong, and would love to see you do something else on this scale. I confess I'm somewhat shocked myself that you have not gotten more feedback!

Thanks,
femur

Thanks, Jezzi and femur. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

You're quite right about the illustrations, femur. The watermarks were an experiment, so I just chose photos that I liked. It's tough (as we all know) to find pics that fit well with a given story. As for the other images... I admit it, I've just been cramming in as many of them as I can because it's fun. (We won't delve into the no doubt fascinating psychological reasons of why that is.)

I think those (altered) images probably work better for short captions or vignettes, where the image is the direct focus of the text and there are only one or two pictures present. I may stop trying to illustrate longer stories, since there the emphasis is on the text---and that's where my real interests lie anyway. It has been fun to try to string together a story based on a set of pictures, but I think I've taken it about as far as it can go. After all, I'm pretty much stuck with only that one expression!


I do respect your opinion, but we'll have to agree to disagree here. However, it does allow me to get on my soapbox and discuss my favorite topic: writing.

A big problem with many (perhaps most) TG stories I've seen is that the author didn't begin or end the story in the right place. Most stories start too soon, detailing too much of the hero's background or daily life before getting into the meat of the plot, and they usually overshoot the climax of the action by providing too much information about what comes later. You might be able to get away with that in a character-driven literary story, but not in a plot-driven genre story---which is what most TG stories are. The story should begin by quickly putting the hero into a situation that raises some big question in the reader's mind (e.g., will he save the world, become a woman, etc) and it should end very soon after that question has been answered. I have a very simple rule of thumb: if I find it boring, then I cut it out. For this story, I'm just not interested in what happens to Jenna after she puts on the Skin. The climax occurs when she puts it on and escapes her captors; the short afterward is just there to tidy up loose ends and provide an echo of the beginning of the story.

That's it, lecture over. :-)

Amanda

One problem with TG fiction is that there are a lot of little subgenres and different aspects. For a lot of people, I think the "transformation scene" per se is absolutely paramount, but I personally find that aspect rather boring. It's the "OK, so that's done. NOW what?" part that actually fascinates me.

And there are other smaller aspects too. Like the whole "bodysuit" concept, which for whatever reason never works for me. Why do I find magic potions or weird hormone treatments or Virus-X more plausible than a bodysuit? I dunno, but there it is. And other people probably have the opposite reaction.

I think the ultimate "message" is the same one that's true for any writing - write what YOU want, not what you think other people want, because you'll never please everybody (or even the "everybody" that makes up our peculiar little subgenre's audience.)

suedenim
You're right, Sue. As you could probably guess, the transformation aspect of the story is paramount. But for the next gal, it's a whole different story. Literally, a different story. I was thinking about exactly that after posting the above message; that TG stories might be a somewhat different animal (than other genre stories), and that TG readers may a greater personal interest in a character's later life than would someone reading a mystery story.

What I said before still applies, but I think it's important that the writer focus on what kind of story she's writing. In other words, whether what's important is the transformation, the character's adaption to her new life, the sex, or whatever. (Maybe that should be stated up front, in the story's synopsis.) And then, write the story to bring that aspect to the fore.

I suspect that too many TG stories do try to please everybody, by including a long transformation, lots of background info (far more than is necessary), and lots of post-transformation action. Unfortunately, all that does is ensure that any and all readers will be bored by large portions of the story. That's why there is, I suspect, a lot more skimming of TG stories than there is reading.

Amanda

One complication with TG stories is that, not to get TOO crude about it, but many readers (including myself, at times) are less interested in story elements like conflict, plot, and climax, and more interested in "climax" in the, er, non-narrative "interactive fiction" sense.

Yep, too true. All the more reason, I'd say, to keep a story clean and uncluttered. Get rid of useless background info at the outset, start right in with something interesting happening, and end the story quickly after it resolves itself. That's the recipe for less skimming, more reading and more---shall we say---satisfaction. :-)