Gallery » Tabloid Tales: All In Your Mind

Tabloid Tales:
All In Your Mind

by Pyrite

The Goose and Firkin Pub,
Holborn Circus, London

"No Tom, the G-and-T was my drink, not the bitter!" Mike Langston said to his colleague through bared teeth.

"Sorry Mike - I keep forgetting - you're cutting back aren't you."

He knew that Tom Walters was only trying to wind him up and that Tom knew damn well that he wasn't drinking his favourite beverage at the moment, but he just couldn't prevent himself from rising to the bait which had been dangled so enticingly in front of him. He sipped the extract of the juniper berry along with the fizzy something, and grimaced as he watched those around him sink their beers.

It just wasn't the same, sipping at this girl's drink whilst the other journalists sunk their manly pints, but there was nothing that could be done about it. His doctor had told him in no uncertain terms that he was gambling with his life if he kept up the level of beer drinking that he had traditionally done, and that he had to cut back on it if his blood pressure was ever going to come down again. It was a good job he hadn't been specific and included alcohol per se, otherwise he didn't know how he could have coped!

His mood darkened by the minute as he listened to the other journalists boasting of the stories that they had never been able to get into print because they were simply too outrageous to publish. He knew that, today, he had a tale that would win this regular Friday session hands down if he got the chance to speak. It wasn't helped by the fact that it was also time for his round, and he would have to watch the others sinking yet more beer, and this time out of his own pocket.

He held out for as long as he could, until the constant harassment from his fellow hacks forced his hand.

"Okay, okay! I'll get the beers in, but only if I get a chance to go next. I am fed up sitting here listening to this far-fetched nonsense when I could tell you something that would make your hair curl. Hey love - another round for these reprobates over here please!" he called out to the young brunette woman polishing glasses behind the bar.

As Mike caught her eye, Tom shook his shoulder.

"Hey Mike, you still haven't told us why we've come here tonight. Why couldn't we have gone to the Wheatsheaf as usual?"

"Just be patient and you'll see," he said mysteriously as he watched the girl fill some fresh glasses and then set them out on a tray.

The hacks went quiet as they watched her walk over towards them, admiring her legs beneath the short black skirt and the way that her hips undulated as she sought to balance the tray of drinks she was carrying. She placed them on their table and took Mike's money before walking back to the bar to get his change. The view was just as impressive, even when she wasn't carrying a load.

"Phwooarr - will you look at the ass on that!" someone called out, attracting calls of agreement all round.

"Well I wouldn't be getting any ideas if I was you, because I've been told that her boyfriend will be coming to meet her when her shift finishes, and I've been told that he doesn't take any prisoners ".

The men shifted nervously and looked around the pub, wondering whether Mike was just winding them up or not, because it was just the type of thing that he had done on many occasions. Eventually though, one of them broke ranks and asked Mike the question that they were all thinking.

"So anyway Mike - about this tale?" Greg said to him as Mike prised a piece of lemon from his teeth.

"Okay - then sit back and listen. I think this will impress you."

* * * * * * *

"It all started one night when I had a tip off that things weren't as they should be down at some obscure Government Research Laboratory down at Romney Marshes. Apparently, it seemed that some of the research carried out had not been authorised and that one of the scientists - a Doctor Martin Goodbody - had left in a hurry, according to my informant. I could smell a scandal so I got up at the crack of dawn the next day and drove for two-hours until I arrived at Romney. It was located in the most God-forsaken outpost and even after that drive it still took me another hour to find it before I got there but eventually, at about half past eleven, I was approaching the small security post that fronted the place and flashed them my fake ID. They waved me through and I was soon making my way towards the Research Labs at the back of the facility where I thought I would have the best chance of finding out something."

A young cub reporter - Frank - snorted in disbelief.

"Huh - you expect us to believe that it would be that easy to get into a top secret laboratory just by flashing a fake ID?"

The surrounding hacks shook their heads at the folly of youth, letting Mike despatch him as painlessly as possible.

"Who said top secret? I said it was an obscure laboratory. Besides, any decent reporter knows that a Government facility is the easiest thing to get into. Bureaucracy is an inefficient beast at the best of times - combine that with Government doings and, well...!"

His colleagues nodded sagely, the combined years of their experience confirming the truth of Mike's statement while Frank shrank back in his seat.

"As I was saying - I soon found the back of the facility and nobody bothered to challenge me as went into the first laboratory so I decided to have a nose around. I did my best to look officious, knowing that they would keep out of my way if looked as if I owned the place, and gave the place the once over. There wasn't much to see though - just rack after rack of small animals. You know - rabbits, assorted rodents, sheep...."

"Sheep!" Frank exclaimed.

"Only kidding. Anyway, I spoke to a couple of the assistants who were working there and they seemed happy enough to talk at first, but the minute that I mentioned Doctor Goodbody's name they all clammed up. I knew then that I was onto something - I could just feel it - so I went into the laboratory next door, where another group was working. I was a bit luckier this time because one of the girls broke away told me that if I was quick, I might catch the scientist's girlfriend before she left, as well.

She didn't have to say anything else. I hadn't realised that there was a girlfriend involved and I started to imagine the type of sordid sex story that I could probably make of whatever she told me. That would be a guaranteed sell and there would be a big bonus in it for me. I walked as quickly as I could, following the girl's directions, and knocked on the door of the room number that she had given me. There was no answer and I knocked again, fearing that I was too late but this time, the door swung open and I was staring at a 5'4" brunette with nicely sized tits and a figure that any red-blooded male would want to - well, you know!"

Mike scanned the nodding faces of the assembled throng, knowing that he had their full attention and relished the moment. He was in full flow now.

"I introduced myself but she wasn't really listening to a thing I said and I could see that she had been drinking. There was a small bottle of brandy next to her that was nearly empty and I could smell it on her breath. She was in a pretty emotional state and I could see that her eyes were red from crying. I was intrigued. She looked about ready to break down."

"Excuse me miss - is there anything I can do to help? I am looking for a Martin Goodbody - would you know where he is?" I asked her.

"Whatever I had said had upset her and her hand flew to her ample chest as if to quieten her pounding heart."

"Wh..why do you want to know? Who are you?" she said quickly, as I sought to re-assure her. She looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

"I told her that I was here to help and watched as she took another swig of her brandy. Her judgement was all shot and I could tell that she needed a shoulder to cry on so I just sat back and waited for her to start talking. She didn't say much though. Instead, she seemed to reach some crucial internal decision and reached down inside a small attachè case that rested by her feet and pulled out an A4 sized book. She took a long look at it, and then back at me, before pushing it over towards me. I picked it up and opened it to the front page, reading the legend at the top."

'The Journal of Martin Goodbody.'

"He continued to pack as I opened the cover. I felt a tingle pass through my body, knowing that I was on the brink of a special story, as I started reading."

The Journal of Martin Goodbody

Romney Marsh Animal Research Laboratories

Most uncharacteristically, I have decided to keep this journal to record the outcome of what will I believe, be the most dramatic discovery of the modern age, or any other I would wager. This will not be a typical scientific journal because I believe it will be important that every emotion, feeling and thought that I experience is captured faithfully to validate my findings. Therefore, this journal may well depart from that you would expect to find in a normal scientific log.

This journey started when I left University a few, short months ago. I had majored by completing a thesis that I been working on for more than three years. I had created an alpha version of an artificial neural mapping environment that had caught the attention of a respected Government scientist and had been recruited on the basis, or so I had thought, that I would be able to continue my work. This did not transpire when only a month after I had joined, a change of managers meant a change of policies, and I soon found myself being re-assigned by someone who decided that I needed to cut my scientific milk teeth first at something more 'tangible'. That was how I found myself here, out in the wilds of Kent, where the only company was the numerous forms of wildlife that infested these marshlands, and a bunch of going nowhere junior biologists - that was apart from Miss Reisling.

Carol Reisling - now she had seemed to be the only good thing to come out of this for me. She was only a local clerical assistant who was not too bright and not even very good at her job. She did have other assets though, that more than made up for any other deficiency that she might have, and I was extremely lucky that she was assigned to be my assistant from the moment I got here. Her long brown hair, her deep blue eyes, and her petite yet curvy shape made her one desirable little package and I could tell, instantly, that she would make the anticipated lonely nights down here, bearable.

It did not take long before my expectations turned into reality as the long hours that we spent together in the laboratory, soon turned into equally long nights. During the day I dissected the local wildlife and she recorded whatever I considered relevant. The evenings though were ours and there was no need to record the things we got up to then - I made sure that she would never be able to forget what I did with her.

As the days and weeks passed, I could see her interest in me growing but, for her, I could see that it was no longer just a case of lust - I had seen that look before. She was no doubt sizing me up for future husband potential. I think that it was at this point that my attraction to her began to pale. It was a commitment that I did not want to make. If I ever found myself needing a life mate I would want more than just a quick fuck, thank you. I wanted conversation, intelligent conversation, and she was never going to be able to provide me with that. The trouble was though; her passion for me grew as surely as mine faded.

In order to alleviate the tedium and Carol's attentions, I started to go back to my thesis and loaded up my alpha version software on the laboratory PC that had been assigned to me. I spent more and more of my spare time on my program and less on Carol, but she didn't seem put off by this fact and we eventually settled into a routine. I would get the intellectual stimulus that I craved from my own work, and my physical needs were satisfied by Carol. I suppose I should have felt guilty, for I knew that it would hard for her one day, when she finally realised that I would never marry her, but I meant her no harm and at least she was getting some physical pleasure as well. I was sure that she would get over me soon enough one day, and would find someone else who could give her what she wanted.

At least though, my work was progressing and finally, I reached a point where the software that I developed was sophisticated enough that I believed it was now possible to capture and store the entire contents of a simple creature's mind. Overnight, my whole life became consumed by my desire to put my theory into practise, and I started to look at the captured wildlife that was always available, with a new interest. If I could tap into the electrical activity that was always present in a living creature's cerebral cortex then I was confident that I could download its memories and then start to study exactly how the animal might think.

There was only one snag - there was no way that I could perform this experiment on my own. This version of the software performed very dynamically but was crude and required my constant attention, needing real time adjustments. There was no way that I could do that and also record the findings. I would need help and as I had been using unauthorised Government time and equipment on my pet project I could not get any assistance, officially. Of course though, there was always Carol.

And so it was two days later, when the lab had shut down for the evening, that Carol and I went back to the laboratory and set up the equipment necessary to run the experiment. I powered up the PC and Carol selected one of the small rabbits from the other laboratory and anaesthetised and secured it before attaching two electrodes to the base of its skull. Just moments later I was staring at the VDU and watching the data that indicated that the capture had been successful. I spent the next two days analysing the results and was convinced that I had been successful.

My initial success was like an addictive drug, and I wanted to push my experiments further. I became obsessed with trying the reverse the procedure, but this time I would upload the rabbits memory into another animal so three days after the first download Carol was securing a pigeon this time, and attached the electrodes as before. My software, I was confident, was so sophisticated that, after testing the bird with the appropriate stimuli, it would sense exactly where to place the rabbit's data into the pigeon's brain in an area as close to its own as it could find. All this time Carol never questioned a thing that I was doing, and she watched the bird writhe as wave after wave of data was pumped into its cranium.

Finally though, it was finished and I think that she was a little revolted at first, when the released bird tried to scamper around the workbench and use its wings to claw its way through it. Having seen enough I quickly despatched the test subject and put it out of its misery. The reverse procedure, when I loaded the pigeon's memory into the brain of a rabbit, was just as successful. It was most amusing to watch the rabbit as it attempted to fly.

I was unstoppable after that. My whole life became devoted to developing the software further, but now I knew that I would never be happy until I had tried it out with a human being. Carol pleaded with me to stop; saying that I was going too far, but I refused to listen to her pleas.

"Oh Martin, why can't you be happy with what you've achieved so far. You are so clever and will be successful at whatever you do, so why can't we just marry and have a family?" she would whine.

Having a family with her was the last thing I wanted though. As I have already said, if I ever married then it would be to an intellectual equal and not a pretty piece of fluff like her. Still, she had her uses and she continued to provide the assistance that I needed in both my working life and also with my extra-curricular activities. Finally though, six months after my initial experiments, I considered that I had developed my software enough that it was ready to try out on a human being.

This journal will record the outcome of these experiments for posterity, and for reference in any future developments.

Day 1

The day started the same as any other day. I hadn't told Carol what I had intended to do at first. I had set up the PC and kicked of my neural mapping program and had then called her into the laboratory. As on other occasions, everyone had left by now, and only there were only security and ourselves that remained in the facility, and I knew that they wouldn't be disturbing us. These laboratories were off limits to them.

"Okay Carol," I had said as casually as I could, "I want to record my own brain activity so that I can study the difference between the previous subjects and the more complicated human thought process."

"B..but won't that be dangerous?" she asked nervously as I passed her the electrodes to attach to my head, no doubt remembering the rabbit that tried to fly.

"No, not at all. I am only capturing data at the moment, that's all, and I need to make sure that I have enough memory in this box of tricks before I attempt anything else."

That seemed to mollify her and she prepared herself to take notes, but I could see that she felt uncomfortable doing so. Soon though, I was downloading the sum total of my life, which took over an hour to complete. This pleased me, for with the animals that I had tested it on, it had only taken fifteen minutes. As she unhooked me from the machinery I felt so excited as I anticipated analysing the data wrought from within my own mind, that I kissed Carol full on the lips. My kiss was returned and we spent the next thirty minutes screwing, not waiting to return to the comfort of the bed, but there on the workbench.

I barely slept that night as I thought about what the next day might bring.

Day 2

It had been torture going through the mundane tasks of the day as I waited for the chance to check my results. Eventually though, all things come to he who waits and after everyone had left I spent two hours sifting through the files that contained the memories of my life. It was when I paused for some refreshment that a moment of inspiration came to me, and I decided to hook myself back to the PC once more. I wanted to see whether I could load a memory from my past back into my brain. I wanted to see if the process would work as well on a human as it did on an animal, and considered by using just a small item of my own data it would be fairly risk free process.

It was awkward attaching the electrodes to the base of my skull on my own, but I hadn't wanted the distraction of Carol around me as I performed the analysis so I chose to forego her assistance, and of her logging the outcome. I knew that I could repeat this again if all went well and would get her to formally record it all next time. Eventually, I managed to get everything in place and I manoeuvred the mouse around the screen until it hovered over the upload option. I chose a small file at random and held my breath as I clicked the left button. I noticed a slight tingling sensation at the base of my skull and then experienced a vivid memory of when I was a boy, collecting a prize for the most outstanding pupil of the year.

I had almost forgotten this small piece of my past, and I felt quite emotional as this proud day played itself back to me again, and I savoured every moment of it.

I was elated. It was if I had been there!

I pulled the electrodes away from my neck and had to stop myself from shouting out my success to the world. I was on the verge of greatness. I just knew it!

Day 3

I was eager to repeat my experiment of yesterday, but this time I wanted to take it further. I had proved that a person's memory could be stored, reloaded, and then played back, apparently at will. But what if I loaded someone else's memory into my mind? I remembered the vivid experience that I had enjoyed yesterday. Would I have experienced the same thing with another's memory and feel everything as they had, as if it had been my own?

This question taunted me until I could no longer resist the temptation to try and answer it so that evening, I asked Carol if she could assist me again in a follow-up to what I had achieved the previous night. She agreed, seemingly willing to do whatever I asked of her again and, although she was initially hesitant, she allowed me to capture her memories in the same way that she had helped with my own, only two days ago.

I decided that I wanted to study the results in detail before taking things any further tonight and spent the evening with Carol in her small room that she had in women's section. She left me physically drained that evening. She had been insatiable.

Day 4

As was usual on a Saturday, Carol had set off to spend the day with her family, apologising for leaving me on my own. She needn't have bothered - I was delighted to have some time on my own to experiment with the data I had collected from her, yesterday. After spending the morning satisfying myself that everything was in order, I set up my equipment to attempt to upload a small file of Carol's data into my brain. I didn't want to risk using any more than this at this stage, just in case there was a problem, and I harmed myself, and impaired my ability.

Finally though, after all the preparations were in place, I selected one of her files and pressed the upload option, feeling the same tingling sensation that I had previously. No sooner had this stopped than I became aware of a thought in my mind, so powerful that it was swamping everything else. It was nothing that I could recollect from my own life, and I realised that this must have been one of Carol's memories that I was experiencing, a fact that was confirmed just a moment later as, in the memory, I saw my own body walking into view.

It was unnerving to watch myself arrive, as Carol had done, on my first day at the facility, and being introduced to my future colleagues. I was watching from a distance and noticed my eyes lingering on my crotch - Martin's - crotch and I experienced a feeling of attraction - even desire - as I watched my body move, apparently of its own volition. The last thing I can remember is feeling my hands pulling my lab coat together and encountering two large, but soft mounds that I also felt a sensation from. Then, as if they were dandelions in a breeze, the memories drifted away.

I had to sit down - I was dumbstruck. I had actually experienced a real life memory from Carol's recent past, and had felt like it had been me there - in her body - feeling everything that she had felt. It had felt incredibly realistic!

Once more, I was elated and my desire to try this again was unstoppable now and loaded another two of her memories, and went through the same thing again. Again, I wanted more and was starting to understand some of the excitement that a voyeur might feel, but then I had a wild thought.

What if I loaded all of Carol's memories into my brain? That would effectively make me Carol, I speculated, at least until those memories faded. But if I did such a thing then what would happen to my own memories - would there be enough room for both Carol's and my own, or would having our combined lives housed in my brain drive me insane?

There were so many things to consider before attempting such a thing, but I had opened Pandora's box and knew that I could now, never be satisfied until I attempted this most pioneering of experiments. I started to become excited at the idea of testing this wild notion and as the idea grew, I started to formulate plans on how to put this 'wild notion' into effect. I spent the rest of the day refining and honing my plan until I was satisfied that I had thought it through sufficiently, and that I also had a full-proof fall back scenario in case anything should go wrong.

I finally went to bed exhausted but satisfied. Tomorrow was Sunday - I would have all day to put my plan into effect, when the whole place would be deserted apart from Carol and myself.

Day 5

I had called Carol later last night, before I had retired, and had asked her to meet me here at the lab early - there were some things that I needed to run through, I told her. Sure enough, she arrived here at nine o'clock to find me ready and eager to progress. I had tempered my enthusiasm a little though, for what I was about to ask her would no doubt outrage her at first, and I would need all my powers of persuasion to convince her to go along with me.

"Carol - I needed you here with me today, because I have made the most amazing discovery. What I have found will change the world as we know it. It will help those suffering know what it is like to experience joy. It will help those who have known nothing but pleasure to experience pain. It will help black man understand white and white black. It will help a woman know what it feels like to be a man, and help a man to understand how it feels to be a woman," I said, as I held onto her hands.

I hoped that I wasn't stretching credibility too far with my last claim, for I secretly thought that this was beyond the boundaries of science.

She looked back at me as if she hadn't heard a word I had said, her eyes looking concerned and thoughtful, as if she had something else on her mind.

"Mother and father asked me when I was going to bring you back to meet them Martin. I've told her all about you and how we are in love and everything."

I fought to keep my amazement from showing on my face. What was she talking about? I was about to take mankind to a new future and all she wanted to talk about was out being in love and meeting her mother! I knew that I needed her co-operation though so I stopped myself from getting angry and I continued to hold on to her, pulling her towards me.

"Carol - I promise you, as soon as I can complete my experiments then we can talk about our relationship. Until then though, I need to concentrate on what we're about to do."

"We - what we're about to do!" she repeated, pulling back a little to get a better look at my face.

"Yes - we. I cannot perform this on my own, and not only because of what I need recording this time. I need you Carol - you!"

I then went on to describe my experiment of the night before, when I had loaded some of her own memories into my mind. I then went on to explain that I wanted to test a full memory upload of hers, into my mind but that I didn't know what would happen to my own memories and thinking ability once I had done so. I then explained that I then wanted to load my own memory file into her mind, so that if it worked as I had speculated, and I effectively became her for a while, then I could observe the outcome from either perspective.

"B..but if my memories are in you and your brain thinks it is me then that will mean I'll be a man won't it!"

It was true - to all extents and purposes she would become me, and that meant that ..

I went cold. In all my excitement I had not fully considered the possibility that Carol's brain with my memories, would think that it was me. That would mean that I would become a girl. I tried to pull my thoughts together quickly. I had no desire at all to be a girl but knew that I was also too impatient to wait until I could arrange this transfer with a man, for there was no one I could really trust at this facility.

"But what about me - you know, ME?" she said, pointing towards her chest.

I looked puzzled, but as she told me that she was referring to her soul I dismissed her concerns, stating that there was no scientific proof of its existence, and that I wasn't exactly intending that this should be permanent, God forbid.

I don't whether she was horrified or just scared at what I was suggesting, but she seemed reassured somewhat, when I told her that the memories proved only to be fleeting, and that they had soon faded out of my mind to be replaced with my own again. She still wasn't fully convinced though and I thought that she would never give way as I tried reasoning with here until finally, I made my last throw of the dice. I put as much emotion into my voice as it was possible for me to do, and then held her face between my hands as I stared into her eyes.

"Carol - I can never settle or even think about the future until this is out of the way. How can I even think of a future with you, or be able to return your love the way that you want from me, with this hanging over my head and haunting my every waking moment."

"Y..you would really think of settling down if I agreed to go through this? You really would?" she replied, her eyes softening.

"You have my word that it will be my next big decision - whether I can ever make that choice is now down to you," I said back, dropping my eyes as if it was too painful to think about this for any longer.

The room went quiet for a moment, whilst my heart beat faster and faster. If she didn't agree to this then I would just have to find someone else and suffer all the inherent delay that would be associated with doing so. I could hardly breath as she turned it over in her mind.

"O..okay then - I'll do it. When so we start?"

I was overjoyed and set about the task immediately. I wanted to take a fresh download of both our memories again, before performing the upload so that we would both have the latest version of our minds on file. If anything should go wrong then I wanted to be able to restore ourselves to how we were this morning. With the preparations completed I first downloaded Carol's memories and then my own, the whole process taking almost three hours as I loaded each master file into separate PC's.

I then helped Carol swap the electrodes so that we were each hooked up to the machine that contained the other's memories, and then suggested that we should both get as comfortable as possible for the next stage of the process. I placed my hand over the mouse, ready to click the icon that would upload each file simultaneously. I had a moment's hesitation as I considering the danger of what we were attempting, but then clicked the mouse before I talked myself out of it.

As before, I felt a slight tingling in my head as the data from Carol's data bank started pouring into my brain, and then, nothing. All went dark as my whole sense of consciousness and identity was pushed into the background.

* * * * * * *

The next thing I knew, I was lifting my head from where it had dropped on my chest during the transfer, but immediately felt that something was wrong as a movement from around my face caught my attention. I blinked, noticing that my eyelashes seemed heavier, and then as my eyes started to focus, I noticed that a large shape was standing directly in front of me. I blinked twice, finding that my eyes were taking longer to focus than I was used to and then suddenly, as it moved close towards me, the shape started to become clear.

Although I had expected it to happen, I was still shocked and startled to see my own body standing in front of me. My face bore a huge grin as it ran its hands up and down its chest.

"C..C..Carol?" I asked, startled to hear that the words that were emanating from my mouth sounded exactly like Carol would have spoken them, except it seemed subtly different hearing them from inside her head.

"Yes - this is me in here I suppose, but I don't feel very sure about what that means at the moment!"

"But why did your transfer finish before mine?" I asked her, not really expecting an answer, but getting one anyway.

"Well maybe it's because you're so clever and you've got a better brain and all. I suppose it took longer to cram all your knowledge and things into my head than it took the other way round. After all, I'm not as clever as you, am I?" she giggled, sounding ridiculous as she did so with my deeper voice.

I hated to admit it but she just might have something there. I should have thought of this before. The file containing my captured life had been about a quarter larger than hers so it would, naturally, take longer to transfer the data.

I watched her as she continued to feel up and down her body, no doubt enjoying the increase in physical strength that she had inherited, and I then started to get inquisitive about what I had acquired. I ran one of what I could see were my newly slender hands down to my breast. I stroked it and felt the sensation from both my hand and also my body. It was so strange. I then lifted it slowly and dropped it again, feeling its weight pull against the straps of what I knew was a bra, and also from the muscles underneath my arms. I pulled open the lab coat that Carol had put on this morning to get a better look. It was funny, I had never even considered what it would be like to wake already wearing different clothes, but there was no escaping that fact now. I looked at the lacy white bra that she had put on this morning and was just about to unhook it when a hand grabbed hold of me and pulled my hand - Carol's hand - away. I looked up startled, only to see Carol standing right in front of me and smiling at me again.

"Do you mind - I would prefer it if you had a little more respect for my body whilst you're in it."

"I..I'm sorry, I..I wasn't thinking straight besides, you look as if you were enjoying the view," I said as I looked down towards Carol's crotch and saw the bulge in her trousers.

She blushed a deep shade of red and then turned to cover herself quickly, trying to hide her obvious interest in me, or at least in her body, but it was too late and I couldn't help but smile at her awkwardness. I could also feel my new body reacting in a unfamiliar way, experiencing a warmth that was starting to build deep within my nether regions as I felt my gaze drawn back to her erection.

I was puzzled and slightly disturbed at my reaction and decided to make a tactical withdrawal to the restroom so that I could pull myself together. I went into the male restroom, forgetting that it was no longer appropriate for me to do so but ignored the fact, because there was no one else around anyway. I cast a quick nostalgic glance at the urinals but then ignored them as I made my way to a stall and sat down.

I felt so confused. I had not expected anything like this to happen and wondered why I should have looked at her like I had. Surely, my own memories would not have been attracted to the sight of an aroused man? I had expected to wake up and dispassionately analyse all my memories and feelings, testing out just how much of my life I could remember, and then to do the same with Carol, in my body. Instead, I had started feeling myself up, and had then gotten interested in my own body, and finally fled from the laboratory seeking sanctuary from my own feelings. This just wasn't like me at all!

Starting to pull myself together, I probed my mind to see how much of my - Martin's - life I could recall. Of course, if their were gaps I might not recognise them now but I would record exactly what I could remember and then compare it to my original memory when I changed back. I searched through my mind and, if anything, I seemed to have a sharper recollection of past events than I could remember previously. Maybe the transference had brought everything to the surface again before it started to push things I didn't need to survive in my everyday life, into my subconscious. That was where I had speculated Carol's original memories were, for I was sure that they hadn't been wiped out. I tried to see if I could identify anything that was currently in my higher awareness that was Carol's, but the only thing I could identify as such was the sense of arousal I felt when I had looked at my own - Martin's - body.

I shrugged that away as an after effect of the transfer and then noticed that my sense of self-identity had shifted somewhat. Intellectually, I could accept that I must really have been Carol Reisling whose brain had been filled with the life of Martin Goodbody, but if that was the case then why did I feel like I WAS still Martin, albeit housed in this feminine package? Had something deeper and far more fundamental been transferred across along with my data? Had Carol been correct and I had also captured and transported my soul?

If so, then who was I now and could I be changed back again?

I could feel my blood pounding through my temples as my heart rate rose as I wrestled with this conundrum, but then stopped myself, exerting some control over the wildly fluctuating emotions that I appeared to seem more prone to. I had truly, never experienced anything like this before. I decided that I would return to the lab and then finish off the experiment, just as soon as I had composed myself. I would then change us back. I didn't want to linger in this body any longer than I had to. My semi-hysterical speculations were making me uncomfortable. I wanted to start testing this bodies memory; to make sure that my recorded memories had supplanted Carol's as I had speculated, and that would take some time.

I returned to the lab, intending to commence the initial series of tests that I had originally planned. The trouble was, Carol didn't quite see it that way. As soon as I walked through the lab door I felt myself being scooped up into the air and spun around, and then felt a pair of lips close over mine, a tongue pushing its way inside my mouth as I opened it to protest.

I felt so helpless and didn't know how to react, as I struggled to pull myself away from her to no avail, and then looked up to see my own face smiling at me, as Carol pulled away.

"P..put me down you big brute!" I called out, doing my best to hit her but making no impact whatsoever on the strong, male body she now possessed.

She ignored me and then kissed me once again, holding my face tight to her own until I finally gave up struggling. As I did so I started to experience a whole host of strange emotions as I felt myself starting to enjoy the sensation of being overpowered and of being helpless. This was nothing like anything I had ever felt before and I knew that it was not my own memories that was making me feel this way. I tried to think about what could be causing this reaction, but then stopped as I felt a hand squeeze my breast. I felt a contraction of the nerves and my intellect told me that I was, once again, starting to respond to this man, but what was making me feel this way?

"Carol - for Heaven's sake - will you please put me down!" I shrieked as I managed to free my mouth.

"No - don't call me Carol - I'm Martin now, Martin Goodbody," she said, grinned at me.

I felt a shiver run down my spine, wondering if the transfer had unhinged her and that she truly believed what she was saying, and I felt her grip me even tighter. I winced. She didn't know her own strength and was hurting me!

"Pl..please Carol. Stop being silly and let me go," I said again, feeling tears starting to build in my eyes.

"No - you've got to call me Martin first, and then tell me who you are," she said, knowing that she had got me completely in her power.

Whatever the game was that she was playing she was determined to see it through, so I bowed to the inevitable and gave her what she wanted - trying to ignore the overwhelming humiliation that I felt at doing so.

"M..Martin - could you please put me down," I said, and then remembered the other condition; "please - for my - for Carol's sake."

Finally, she put me down but still held on to me tightly as she laughed.

"Oh, that was so funny. I'm sorry Martin but I just couldn't pass up the chance to do that to you. Now you know what it feels like to be the weaker one in a relationship. It was such a great feeling to be so strong and to be able to overpower you. I used to love being the weak one, but now I'm not so sure."

I tried to move myself away from her, for I could feel her erection pressing into my stomach and I could feel myself responding again. However Carol had once felt I didn't like my apparent lack of control and decided that I would try to assert myself with her.

"Okay, all's forgiven, but I want to finish off these tests now and then we can change back.

It was weird, for she didn't seem to be listening to me. Instead, when she spoke, it was almost as if she was talking to herself.

"You know Martin - I really couldn't help myself back there. When I kept thinking about your, or my, body, I started to feel aroused again and wanted to possess you. When I tried to think about you as a man, I felt nothing. It's almost as if I'm starting to think I can only be attracted to you as a woman. How strange - I never had any lesbian tendencies before. Have you felt anything like that yourself yet?"

I didn't say anything at first because I did not want to admit that I understood her perfectly. I had certainly found the bulge in her trousers interesting, and deep down, I had to admit that what she had done to me hadn't been at all unpleasant. Did that mean that my sexual orientation was now changing, as she had unknowingly suggested?

I tried to think of Carol and of how she had turned me on when we had first met. This time though, I felt nothing. I then looked at her as she was now and the minute I did so my gaze dropped downwards to her groin once more. I was as if I could not help myself. I was starting to get really concerned now and didn't want to pursue these thoughts any further and tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

"Enough of this nonsense," I tried to say as authoritatively as I could manage, "let's just get on with the tests and then we can both get back to normal."

At least, that is what I had thought would happen.

Day 6

I felt very confused this morning, as I woke up and looked around at a room that was not my own. My mind seemed to be working in slow motion as I tried to work out where I was and then all of a sudden, I recognised my surroundings. This was my room - Carol's room - though MY room now, for the moment.

My initial thought puzzled had me - why should I have felt like this was my room? I tried to remember what my own room had looked like but it was an effort. I suppose that I should have been more upset about this but I had other things to worry about, like when was Carol going to let me change us both back, so I did not pursue that line of thought?

I lifted myself up into a sitting position and felt my breasts jiggle, noting the difference from what I had been used to in the past. I reached across and picked up the pair of glasses that I had found on my - her - bedside table and as I placed them over nose, everything came into focus. I hadn't even been aware that Carol needed them, nor that she usually wore contact lenses until she had told me so last night, but the thought of inserting those tiny things into my eyes horrified me, so chose I the glasses instead.

With my eyes now feeling more comfortable, I looked around the room once more. Already, it didn't seem quite so strange to be in here and I found myself feeling quite comfortable in these surroundings. From the dressing table laden with bottles and various items of make-up, to the picture of my family alongside them - they seemed familiar to me, and I intuitively accepted them as mine. I felt a shiver pass through me as I realised that I had previously had no idea of what my - Carol's - family looked like. Where had that recognition come from?

As I sat there I had a vague recollection of a dream that I had, last night. The more I thought about it the clearer it became. The dream consisted of a trip I had taken when I had been younger - on a Safari to Kenya. It was so vivid that I could clearly remember the excitement I had felt when I had seen my first Lion, they were my favourites. But that could not have been the case - I had never been to Africa and I had never even been remotely fond of anything from the animal kingdom, apart from when they were laid out under my knife. But if that was the case then what was it that I had experienced?

Maybe some of Carol's memories were starting to leak into my consciousness, and maybe all I had experienced was the dreaming of dreams. I wasn't sure and started to feel nervous, not liking the feeling of someone prowling through what I felt was my mind. On a whim, I tried to picture my own family, particularly my mother, but although I could detect some sort of recollection, I could make out no details of her face. I flipped back to thinking of Carol's family and could instantly recall that she had an older brother and that both parents were still alive. I tried even harder to remember, once again, my own family but it was even more vague than the last time I had attempted it, only moments ago. I wasn't even sure whether I had a brother or sister.

What was happening to me? It seemed like every time I recalled something from Carol's life then that memory was brought back from her subconscious and into the here and now. That would not necessarily have been a problem but what was starting to scare me was the fact that her memories seemed to be replacing my own at the same time, as if this body was slowly erasing this invader and welcoming Carol back. Even worse though, my self-identity seemed to remain intact. I still felt like 'me' - Martin Goodbody, but with Carol's history, at least in part!

I knew, or at least hoped, that all of this could be put right by uploading my original file back into my own body, and then doing the same for Carol. These restored memories would then surely meld again with my own subconscious and remove all traces of Carol, as surely as the reverse was true. The only problem was that when I had told her what I wanted to do last night, after finishing all of the tests I had wanted to undertake, she had refused.

"No Martin - I think we should stay like this for a couple of days. This is a unique opportunity for both of us, and when we get married then we'll both have a better understanding of each other. Besides, I'm feeling quite horny. What would you say to really trying to find out what the other half feels during sex?" she said, and leant towards me and stroked my cheek.

"NO!" I had screamed in horror and pulled away, but still couldn't stop myself from looking down and seeing the evidence of her arousal.

Even more horrifying was the thought that flashed through my mind of seeing and feeling him - her - on top of me, pumping and grinding her manhood into me. What had made me think of that - another subconscious memory coming to the fore again, maybe?

It was obvious that she was not going to co-operate, so I left the laboratory and went quickly to her room,. I wasn't going to risk the brief vision I had experienced becoming a reality. I hadn't even been aware that I had come to her room without a moment's hesitation until later. When I finally realised what I had done I just rationalised it by choosing to think I had just came this way out of habit, for it was here that we usually had sex.

I shrugged off the thoughts of last night, returning to the present, and got dressed quickly, not even noticing that I seemed to know where all her clothes were, nor that I had no trouble putting them on. I walked as steadily as I could to the laboratory. Oh, how I wished that I had been more cautious and made more tests before trying my invention out on myself.

As soon as I got there I could see Carol, in my body, looking at the VDU, and studying a brain pattern on the screen. I recognised it as my own.

"What are you doing? How did you get into that PC without my password?" I asked her angrily, wondering what she had been doing, and feeling very scared.

She turned around to see me behind her and furrowed her brow, as she looked me up and down.

"You left it on last night - that was careless, and you haven't taken a back up. It was a good thing that I was the first one in here this morning, else somebody might have seen all this."

I realised the implications of what she was saying and felt a shiver run down my spine. If she had altered, or even erased, that file then I would have to take whatever was left of me from the brain where they now lay. I already knew that my thoughts had been corrupted by Carol's memories leaking through and replacing my own, but that would be all I had been left with so I would have been left with no choice.

Whilst I was pondering these things though, she continued.

"Anyway, why are you wearing glasses? I've always made a big effort never to be seen in public with them on and now you're going to ruin it for me, once we change back."

"I didn't know how to get them in and, besides, you were the one who insisted that we stay in these bodies. Why don't you let me change us back now and then we can get back to normal - this has gone on long enough," I pleaded.

"No - we can't, not just yet. Others will be coming here soon and we wouldn't have time. Besides, this is quite a lot of fun. A little longer like this can't do much harm, I couldn't believe the size of my cock when I woke up this morning. Is it always like that first thing?"

I looked at aghast, amazed at how course she was being. I just couldn't believe what she had just said, and in such a casual way as well! Also, she seemed far more assertive than she had been yesterday and hadn't taken any notice of a thing I had said. All this was nothing though as I felt a fluttering of what I now recognised as feminine pleasure in my stomach, and I started to get aroused at the thoughts of her cock. I could remember how I used to stroke it and enjoy its rigidity every morning, as I woke up. Instead though, a new memory of the female equivalent of a 'stiffy' jumped into my mind and I remembered the dampness around my crotch that sometimes, not always, this body woke up to. How could I have known that - was this more of Carol coming through? It had to have been!

I desperately tried to remember the sensation of Martin's - my - cock, but it had gone. I could now only imagine what having an erect penis felt like, because the memory that memory had now been replaced by that of a hot and moist pussy.

I felt very scared now and had to sit down to prevent my legs from giving way from underneath me. My whole attitude and demeanour was such a contrast to that of the sure and confident man who stood before me, and had once been. I watched as his hand reached out and rested on my shoulder.

"Martin - are you all right?" he asked, genuine concern etched on his face.

I looked back at him, needing to know whether he was experiencing the same things as myself.

"Carol - tell me, have you found that you've started remembering doing and seeing things that you know you have never really done?"

"Well, yes - I have actually. The dream that woke me in such an interesting fashion this morning was of me - or you, now - to be more precise. I could remember you giving me a blow-job, your pretty brown hair cascading over my belly. It felt so good."

I shivered again, at the thought of sucking this mans cock and as I did so the actual memory of what Carol had described came into my mind. This time though, I was not surprised that my viewpoint had almost instantly changed, and that the idea no longer disgusted me as it had done just moments before.

As I felt more and more of myself slipping into a temporary oblivion, Carol continued.

"I have also remembered and felt your disappoint at ending up here, in Romney Marshes. I never realised how hard it must have been for you when all your expectations came to this. Still, it wasn't 'all' bad, was it! If you hadn't come here then you would never have met me."

She leaned down and kissed me fondly on the cheek, but this time I didn't turn away. The gesture was sweet and simple and gave me a feeling of security. I cast this thought aside though, now worrying about the practicalities of trying to pass as each other for the rest of the day.

"Okay - I can see we haven't got the time to change back now, but we'll never get away with this for a whole day - you know nothing about my work, apart from the assistance you gave me, and I know nothing about what is expected of me. How in Heaven's name are we going to be able to pass ourselves off as each other."

"I wouldn't worry about that. You're MY assistant now, remember. You can assist me and tell me all I need to know to get by. No one will notice any difference."

She was right. It would be simplicity itself. Why hadn't I thought of that - it was the sort of thing that I would usually think of in a moment! I decided that I wasn't thinking straight because of the upset state I was in, but I was only fooling myself. The brain I was now inhabiting was just not as sharp as my own and every thought I had was like trying to cycle uphill, when I was used to driving a Ferrari.

"And while we're at it, I think that we should start calling each other by the name more appropriate to the body's that we're now inhabiting. It will look strange if you keep calling me Carol and I call you Martin, don't you think Carol?"

I nodded meekly, feeling like I was surrendering the last vestige of my identity, but I really had no choice.

"Okay then - M..Martin," I replied, as I swallowed my pride.

She smiled kindly and then suggested that we should take another scan of our minds this evening, so that we would be able to make some comparisons between the before and after data, and I agreed that it made sense. After that though I wanted to change back.

"Let's just wait and see," was all she said, leaving me feeling worried that she might want to continue this charade for even longer.

* * * * * * *

Despite my earlier reservations, the day went by quickly, and as 'Martin' had predicted, nobody seemed to notice that anything was other than what it should have been. I had fetched, carried, noted and did everything that the real Carol would have done had it been a normal working day, whilst all the time giving 'Martin' pointers as to what was expected of him. These had got less though as the day progressed, and he seemed to need my help less and less whilst, at the same time, I was finding it harder to remember the guidance I should have been giving him. Also, I hadn't noticed it, but he pointed out to me that as the day wore on I seemed to be developing some of Carol's habits and characteristics.

"Don't be crazy!" I had said, with less conviction than I had felt when he had revealed this.

"Well just look at the last thirty minutes. You made coffee for me and then put some more on. When was the last time you ever did that?"

He was right. I had made him coffee without even thinking about, as if it was something that I had done every day. The trouble was, my memory told me that this is exactly what I was used to doing and it felt perfectly normal to do so. I had even noticed that I had started referring to the new Martin as 'he' now, without a moment's hesitation. It just seemed the right thing to do.

My legs felt quite shaky as I considered the way that Carol's memories were coming to the fore again, and overwriting my own - or those that had made me Martin. I tried desperately again, to recall as many details of Martin Goodbody's life as I could manage, but there were now a more gaps than memories. I recalled again, my earlier recollection of receiving the best pupil award and it came instantly for a second, but vanished just as quickly as I couldn't stop myself from recalling an episode from Carol's school life. I tried to remember something else from my school days and the same thing happened. Eventually, the only school memories I had were all of me in skirts, and as a schoolgirl. I had tried to stop comparing Martin and Carol's live but it was irresistible, I just couldn't help myself. It was like someone telling you not to think about something. It's impossible and always has the opposite effect.

I felt panic stricken and felt tears start to run down my cheeks as I knew that every part of what made me Martin was being slowly stripped away from me. Every memory that I had of being him was slowly being erased and replaced by those of Carol's life, and it was starting to feel more real to me than Martin's now. I was even starting to think of him in the third person. As before though, I still felt sense of self, and self was still Martin but he was getting less and less real and more distant. It was starting to feel right to be a girl.

"Oh God Martin, please - I am starting to forget who I am - I think I am becoming you - I mean Carol. We've got to change back because if I stay like this much longer, I'm not sure what I'll feel anymore."

He came over and put his arm around my shoulder, giving me a small degree of reassurance.

"I know, and I feel the same. I can remember more things about my - Martin's - life that I can of Carol's. If this goes on for much longer then I'm not sure that I will want to change back. I'm starting to feel right as how I am."

"Then let's re-load our original files back - now."

"NO!" he said firmly, "We've got to think this through. If we load back our original files we'll have lost the last two days of our lives and will have no memory of what we've been through during that period. That doesn't seem right somehow. I don't really know what I mean, but whatever I am feels right now. What ever part of me was Carol is still me - I feel that with all my heart - the thing is I have all of your - my - memories and that tells me I am really Martin. Neither of us are the same people that we were two days ago. We would effectively be killing that part of our lives and also, who and what we are now."

I tried to take in what he was telling me but I was struggling to make sense of it. I was finding it so hard to concentrate and what he had said was confusing me. How could he kill whatever I was if I was really Martin? That's who I would become again once we'd put back our original data and that had to be right, didn't it?

He pulled his arm away from my shoulder and walked over to the PC. Clicking on the icon that would give him access to our memory files. A panel appeared on the screen and was followed by a prompt, asking him for the password.

"What's the password - I want to make sure that everything is ready? Maybe we should take another download of who we are now so that we can at least have an option."

I tried to remember what it was, and for a moment it seemed to flicker in my mind, but like a candle flame in a draught, in flickered once and then died.

"I.. I can't remember - it's gone," I said, feeling a moment of despair, knowing that if we couldn't get past this screen then we were effectively trapped as we were.

My thought process still wasn't clear but suddenly, I had an idea.

"Wait a minute - the password should be there, somewhere in your mind. Think Martin, think!"

I walked up behind him and out my hands on his shoulders to help him concentrate. I suddenly felt a surge of love for this man and wanted to comfort him. I knew that what I was feeling were the real Carol's feelings and not what Martin would have felt, but it was still ME - this me - that was experiencing them at this moment and they were very real. I kept quiet whilst he concentrated, obviously trying to pull the password from his - my - subconscious, and a strained expression passed over his face before his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"It's no good - it's just not there," he said looking back at me, before turning his head once more, towards the screen.

He looked so disappointed that I wanted to comfort him - to reassure him that everything would be all right. I rested my other hand on his shoulder and noticed the curl of his hair around his neck and felt the desire to kiss him there. I remembered that this had always turned me on - it made him seem vulnerable, and before I knew what I was doing I did just that.

"Wh..what did you do that for?" he said as he spun around to face me, his eyes containing the hint of something that I recognised only too well.

His smouldering look triggered something deep inside of me and I could feel a warm sensation building from down below, and my nipples started to become erect as I looked down towards his groin and saw his burgeoning interest in me.

"I don't know, but it seemed the right thing to do," I said, leaning down and running my fingers over the outline of his hardness and kissing his neck once again.

He leaned into me and pulled me towards him and I knew that, indeed, it had been the right thing to do as responded to my caresses. I continued to stroke his hardness as my instincts dictated my actions, but although I knew that it was wrong that I should doing such a thing, I just didn't care anymore. Whether it was right or wrong became less important by the moment as I felt his already hard cock become even harder. I could see that my attentions were having an effect on him as he pulled me onto his lap and buried his mouth in mine and then came up for air, gasping.

"God help me Carol - this body seems to be so easy to arouse that I just can't help myself," he said to me as he pulled away and pulled shut the blinds, effectively screening the laboratory from sight.

I lay there panting in eager anticipation of what I knew was to follow as he locked the door and returned to me.

"I know this is madness, but I don't think that I could stop myself now, even if I wanted to. I'll take the risk of being disturbed if you will," he said, and then started removing his clothes.

I couldn't believe what we were about to do, even if it had been my own actions that had prompted his impetuosity, but I was totally caught in the moment now. I started unbuttoning my lab coat in time with him and held his gaze as he stared intently at me, revelling in my body as each item was deliciously peeled away from me, until I was left standing in just my underwear.

He reached out towards me again but I pulled away, playing the tease and enjoying every moment of the power I felt. Finally though, I let him catch me. I had played this game long enough and I wanted to surrender myself to him and let him overwhelm me. I felt another surge of love for Martin as he took me in his arms and then paused for a moment as he lay my lab coat underneath me on the floor. I then lifted myself a little to make it easier for him to remove my panties. Once they had been removed I spread my legs and let him run his hand along the crevice between my legs, and shuddered deliciously as he spread my moisture along the full length of my slit until he reached my clitoris.

I had never experienced such a longing before as I clasped my thighs around his hand, squeezing him into me even tighter. I then cupped my hand around his testicles, caressing and stroking them until he groaned his pleasure, matching my own. I was in ecstasy and no longer cared who I was, or wasn't. At this moment I was neither Carol, Martin or any of the variants that might have existed therein. I was simply a woman - a woman who felt an incredible love and desire for her man - the man who was now climbing on top of her and spreading her legs to facilitate his entry.

His penis slid easily inside of me; there was no resistance at all, and with each thrust of his penis he drove away the last remnants of Martin Goodbody from my mind. By the time that we had climaxed together the only thing of Martin that remained in me was his penis, and the knowledge of that was who I really was, or had once been. I wanted this moment to last forever.

As our post-orgasmic bliss receded I clung on to him, never wanting to let him go or for this moment to end. My desire counted for nothing however, as he lifted himself away from me and then buried his face in his hands, leaving me feeling alone and puzzled by the hurt expression on his face.

"What's wrong Martin?" I asked him, sitting up alongside him and covering my breasts with my lab coat, feeling suddenly exposed and shy.

He stared at his hands for a moment and then back at me, taking in my body before looking up into my eyes.

"Y..you never really loved me did you? You only wanted my body - I was just a convenient fuck wasn't I?"

I didn't know what he was talking about. I loved him - I loved him with all my heart - I wanted him to marry him - carry his children. I couldn't remember anything other than the fact that I loved him!

"Don't try and deny it - I must have retained more of Carol's memories in this body due to its superior brain capacity and can remember something of how I once felt as a girl. I know everything now though; I know exactly how Martin - how I - felt about Carol and it disgusts me. He never really loved her at all - she was just a cheap lay."

I didn't know how to respond - how could he accuse me of feeling something that I could no longer remember?

He walked over towards the PC and opened up the memory transfer program. He must have remembered the password since he last tried, or he had been lying earlier on. That didn't matter now, though. He went to the cupboard and took out the twin set of electrodes that we had used earlier as I lay there, semi-naked on the floor. He then fired up the other PC and went through an identical procedure with it, which I no longer understood, before coming back and pulling me to my feet.

"Wh..what are you doing Martin?" I asked, feeling nervous and scared at his behaviour.

"I'm changing us back. I don't care whether I lose who I am now, or what happens to me. I've just realised who you really were and what I don't want to become. I'm going to change us back - now!"

I was in a state of shock and didn't understand what he was telling me. He was acting as if he no longer cared about me and I wanted him ... so, so badly. I tried to protest but he just snapped at me - telling that I didn't know what I was talking about, but if I'd just trust him then everything would be all right.

I felt upset and confused but followed his lead. I would have done anything for him. I let him sit me in a chair, feeling what was now a cold dampness drying between my legs, as he attached the electrodes to the back of my neck. He then did the same to himself and I watched him as he moved the mouse pointer over an icon, feeling an incredible sense of deja vu as if I had sat and watched this whole thing before. I felt something loose flapping around the base of my neck but ignored it as I felt a tingling sensation at the back of my head.

I was scared. What was going to happen to me - this new me? Hadn't he said, jut before we had made love, that we would lose the last two days of our lives in effect, if our two day old files were re-loaded and that I, Martin Goodbody, would have never spent this time in Carol's body?

The tingling sensation continued as I sat and watched Martin's head slump onto his chest as his original memory was returned to his brain, whilst whatever it was that had come loose continued to irritate me. I tried to move a hand to brush it away but found that I was paralysed. I would just have to wait until the program had run its course before I could do anything.

* * * * * * *

It seemed like I had been sitting there for hours waiting for the transfer to complete, but eventually I saw the screen change colour and Martin moved his head. He shook it few times, trying to clear his mind no doubt, but finally, he looked up and peered straight into my eyes.

"C..Carol?" I asked, feeling exactly the same as I had before transfer, and wondering why it hadn't worked.

If all had gone to plan then I should have been waking up in Martin's - my - body again and he in mine - Carol's, but that had obviously failed.

His eyes stared at me with a puzzled expression for a moment, and then a look of disappointment crossed over his face as he pulled the electrodes away from himself.

"Damn!" he cursed, "it didn't work then, and why are you calling me Carol?"

I had movement again now and whilst I was trying to understand why he was saying these things I put my hand behind my neck and felt for the source of my irritation. I grabbed it this time and looked at the electrode that I realised must have worked its way loose, and that it had most probably stopped Carol's memory files from being put back into this body. But if that was the case and Martin's memory file had been returned to him then that meant ..."

"Oh my God!" I cried, covering my mouth with my hand, "are you trying to tell me that you're ..."

"Martin, Martin Goodbody," he interrupted me, "as you are well aware. Now I've got to find out what stopped the transfer. I was so sure that a complete memory swap was possible," he said, more to himself that me, as he returned his attention to the screen.

"But it did work!" I cried out to him, "I'm Martin and you were Carol!"

He looked at me as if I was stark staring mad. Of course, I realised that for him - the him that had just been uploaded - the last two days had never happened. He wouldn't even be aware of the disappearing memories, or how the real Carol, in his body, had loaded his file back!

"Don't be so hysterical woman. If you're trying to tell me that you're really Martin then why don't you tell me the name of my sister - I've never spoken to you about my family."

I looked at him blankly - I did not have a clue as to what she might be called.

"I..I don't know!" I said weakly as the tears coursed down my face.

"Well that proves that you're Carol, if proof was needed. I haven't even got a sister, a fact that I'm sure the real Martin would not have forgotten.

I was in a hole - a hole of my own making and it seemed that everything I said seemed to dig me in that little bit deeper. I had reinforced his image of me as hysterical woman by reacting to type, exactly as he would have no doubt expected me to, and I clung on to him, crying and shouting in my panic to make myself understood.

"No .. no Martin. I'm telling you the truth. You've got to listen to me. I love you. We..we're going to get married!"

He looked at me, the scorn he felt apparent in his eyes.

"Don't be so stupid - I am not marrying you under any condition. Look Carol - I think this has gone on long enough. You were a damn good lay, but that is all you were. I am not going to meet your family - we are not going to get married, and there will be no children - not from our union, anyway!"

"No - NO! You can't mean that," I wailed, as he held my arms tightly to my side to stop me from lashing out at him.

I might have been the real Martin once but now I was the sum total of Carol's memories and feelings, and I loved this man, deeply and beyond all reason. He..he couldn't just cast me aside this way - he surely had to feel something for me!

He waited until I had calmed a little, and then let me go.

"Look, I think it's better if you go and lie down. I didn't want to tell you like that, but I've got so much to do right now that I cannot afford any distractions."

I did as he suggested - there was nothing else I could do. Maybe if I came back later then I could explain what had happened better than before, once he had gotten over what he thought was his disappointment at his failure. I went back to my room and threw my coat on the floor before covering myself in my bed, wearing just my bra and panties. I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.

* * * * * * *

I woke up and reached out for my contact lenses and placed them in my eyes before I looked at the alarm clock next to my bed. I peered through the gloom and saw that it was 8:30pm. I must have dropped off and slept for over five hours.

I dragged myself out of bed and washed my face, getting rid of the smears of make-up from where my tears had damaged them, and then went to my wardrobe and picked out what I knew was Martin's favourite skirt. It was short and revealing. I was going to go over to his room and see if we could make up again - I was missing him already, despite the hurtful things that he had said to me. I was sure that he couldn't have really meant them. I put on a dab of lipstick and a touch of eye shadow and walked over to the men's complex before knocking on his door. There was no answer so I knocked again but there was still no response.

I decided that he must still be in the laboratory trying to work out what he thought had gone wrong, but when I arrived there everything was dark. I eased open the door and turned on the lights just to check but there was still no sign of him so I returned to my room, wondering where he might have gone. I had just got in when I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to see the head of our team, Martin's boss. He was carrying a letter in his hands.

"Oh, Hi Geoff - what is it?" I said as casually as I could manage.

"Carol - hello. Look, this isn't going to be pleasant so I'll just get straight to the point. I had a report this afternoon from someone that I won't name, that you were seen, along with Martin Goodbody in a .. well, a rather delicate situation."

My heart sunk - somebody had caught our unplanned sexual romp before we had tried to trade back.

"On top of that, we've discovered that Martin was holding unauthorised software on his works PC and when we investigated it, we found that this was definitely the case."

My world started to collapse around my ears as I feared what he was gong to say next. I - he had been discovered.

"Martin - where is he?" I gasped.

"This is as embarrassing for me as much as it is for you Carol, but I'm afraid that we have had to ask Martin to resign. If he didn't then we would have had to go through the whole disciplinary procedure and to be frank, I - we - don't want the publicity that would be associated with such a thing. The outcome would have been the same whatever."

I repeated my question.

"I asked you Geoff, where is he?"

"He accepted the inevitable and has already gone. We didn't want him hanging around here any longer than he had to for security reasons, so it was better that way. Now though, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to do the same."

"B..but do you know where he went?" I asked, as I grasped his hand, ignoring whatever else it was that he was saying.

He pulled away from me slightly, as if I was about to pass on some highly contagious disease, but he still didn't answer my question. I began to realise that he didn't know. I sat down feeling very shaken not knowing what else to do, except cry.

The sight of a weeping woman must have unnerved Geoff and his eyes turned away from me as he repeated his request for me to resign. This time I heard him and as I looked up and he saw my shocked face he softened his stance a little. Maybe he could see the headlines if something should happen to me if I left here now, at this late hour.

"Pretty young brunette raped and murdered after being cast out into the night by Government official."

His career would be in ruins.

"Look, I don't mind if you stay here tonight, after all - it is getting late and it was Martin who was breaking all the rules, I suppose. You must be gone by tomorrow at noon though - that's as much as I can do for you."

I nodded silently, still unsuccessfully fighting back my tears as he turned to leave. As he opened the door though, he turned back again and thrust out his hand towards me.

"Oh, he left this for you," he said, handing me the envelope that he had been carrying, and I snatched it from him and turned it over to see my name written in Martin's handwriting.

I tore open the letter with a fever - maybe he wanted me after all and he was telling me where he had gone, so that I could join him! My hopes though, were soon dashed.

 

Carol,

By now you will know what has happened. They have found out about the work I have been undertaking although they do not understand what it was for. They deleted all of the data, memory files and the software I had developed and saved before my very eyes. Luckily, I had all my programmes backed up, but the data is gone forever.

This is no great loss though, the experiment had not worked so I would have had to start afresh anyway, once I can get set up again.

I am sorry that I hurt you before I left, but try and forget about me. You will find someone else more caring one day.

Do not try and find me. I have enough savings to go abroad, probably to America, where I believe they will be more sympathetic to my ambitions.

Once again, Sorry.

Martin

 

I couldn't believe it. All of the captured data - gone - forever and the original Carol with it, or was she? I had all of her memories even if I knew that I was really Martin, so what did that make me? Was I now Carol, or was I someone else, neither Carol nor Martin?

Maybe I would never know, but I had no choice now other than to be what I was and to try and get by. I started packing my things. I would think about where I could go tomorrow, but I was sure of one thing - I would not be returning home to either Carol's or Martin's family.

Close of Journal of Martin Goodbody/Carol Reisling

The Goose and Firkin Pub, Holborn Circus, London

"Wow!" Frank said, voicing the thoughts of all those present, "that beats anything else I've heard here tonight, but it can't have been real -- surely!"

The other hacks agreed that Mike had won hands down, but raised an eyebrow at their junior colleague's comments. It was an unwritten rule that everything here had to have really happened and they knew that Mike would never have spoken anything but the truth. After all, he WAS a journalist!

Mike sat back feeling pleased with himself and enjoyed the plaudits and the feeling of triumph once again. In fact he was so pleased with their reaction that he motioned over to the barmaid and, once again, ordered another round of drinks.

Tom Walters looked at his long time friend suspiciously, knowing that there was something that Mike hadn't revealed yet. He did it every time. He always left a loose end to tie up and wondered what was going to come next, but he didn't begrudge him his moment of glory though - it would be his turn next time. If fact, he was feeling so magnanimous that he decided that he would play the straight man and set it up for him.

"You know," he said, gaining his friend's attention, "that still doesn't explain why you brought us to this place tonight," he said, and caught the twinkle in Mike's eye, knowing that he had guessed right.

"Yeah - you also haven't told us what happened to Martin and Carol," Frank said as they all watched the pretty girl put their refilled glasses on a tray before bringing them over.

Mike grinned - the timing was perfect.

"I was never able to track Martin Goodbody down. It seemed that he went to America as he had said, and then vanished without trace. I have no doubt that he was snapped up by one of the conglomerates and we will hear about him, or his work, again at some time in the future. Carol though, well I've seen her a few times since then."

The crowd watched the barmaid saunter over to them and place their drinks on the table. Mike gave her a twenty-pound note, which she took back to change. The temperature had risen slightly again with her presence and they all took a mouthful of drink to calm themselves, before Mike continued.

"She was never the brightest of things, but had been a reliable assistant, although a little too emotional for her own good maybe. The trouble was that after the ensuing internal scandal, she was never able to get a reference from the Government and therefore had no chance of getting another job, doing what she had been doing. She drifted around for a while until she picked up with a young man - she was never going to be short of male company for too long - who helped to set her up with a job. The last I heard she was doing well and that they were getting married soon, in a few weeks time. Apparently, she's besotted with him and him with her. The story could never be released - the official secrets act and all that."

The girl brought back Mike's change and they all appreciated the sight of her cleavage as she bent down to count it out for him. She looked up and smiled as he passed her across a couple of pounds as a tip. She needed every penny she could get with her wedding coming up soon.

"Why thank you Mr Langston. It's been nice to see you again."

"And you too Carol, you too," he said smirking, as he caught the look of surprise from his assembled colleagues.

"What .. you mean that ..." Frank started, but Mike didn't hear what he said next - he was looking across at Tom Walters and saw him raising his glass to him.

"Don't get too complacent - next time it'll be my turn."

The men grinned at each other, eager for the next encounter of their tabloid tales.

The End

TGCaps claims NO copyright on the images used throughout this site. | Powered by Zenphoto