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Batman beyond :The return of Catwoman

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Dread
Member 

#61 | Posted: 7 Jan 2012 21:55
 

Here are some of the art for my Batman story. So for those of you who are enjoying my story hopefully will like them. At first, I was going to post the art I've done all at once but the last two are just taking too long. So here is the cover art and a little character art of Anthony and Catwoman without the custom. And I do apologize for not posting more of the story, my editor is very ill and we do not know when she will be better. I hope you all enjoy the art.






Dread
Member 

#62 | Posted: 17 Feb 2012 20:55
 

About an hour later, one of the unnamed Doctors walks into Anthony's room. The sound of classical music tells the Doctor that Anthony is indeed in. looking around the Doctor sees that Anthony loves to read. There are books on everything on the shelf's that covers the walls. Mostly books on psychology, medical, Art, many other things.

The Doctor quietly jumps a bit when he looks over and sees Anthony reading a book but with his hood down.

His back is turned to the doctor but Anthony still knows that someone is behind him. With his back still to the Doctor he says what can I do for you?

"I'm sorry for interrupting you sir I have the tests results you wanted." Says the Doctor trying to avoid Anthony's face

"How many times must I insist you call me Anthony?"

"I'm sorry again Anthony but you wanted to see these as soon as possible."

As the Doctor hands the small computer pad to Anthony he looks over at Anthony's desk where he sets down his book down when the doctor came to him. He sees the book that Anthony was reading and then Anthony sees the he sees the book.

"William Blake. "Says Anthony

"What Anthony? "Asks the Doctor

"He's one of my favorite poets. Sometimes I read poetry when I have too much time on my hands. It's very calming and breathtaking most of what I look at. Speaking of looking' let's see the results."

"You know medicine has greatly improved over the years. Even here we have the resources to fix you're injuries. Doesn't that cause you great pain?"

"Thanks for not saying my face. When I got these injuries as you put it' I was given a choice to fix it then but I choose to stay like this. "Says Anthony while while looking over the chart

"Why did you choose to stay like this if you don't mind me asking?"

"Why do most superheroes where a mask? "Asks Anthony

"I'm not sure."

"To some a face isn't their face, just like to some their gender isn't there gender. When some of these people put on a mask or in my case lose their face they see themselves as who they really are. This face that you see maybe more than a little messed up but its shows who I am."

"Well from what I'm looking at here, everything is fine with our girl. "Says Anthony handing the computer pad back to the doctor

"But sir I mean Anthony, what about these readings here. "The Doctor says while pointing to something Pacific on the pad

"I'm very concerned about this I can't figure as to why this would be as high as it is. "Says the Doctor

"Don't worry about it Doctor that's nothing for you to be worried about. "Says Anthony

"But what if it keeps getting higher I'm afraid of the long term effects it would have on her and. "The Doctor says but Anthony stops him by raising his hand

"Don't worry about it Doctor. It's all under control and if there is a problem I'm shore you and the others could handle it. "Says Anthony

"Now it you excuse me Doctor I need to check on something."

Back in the batcave Bruce who has just woken up wondering why he is at the table. Sees that he is alone but just as he is about to call out Max walks in with a bag in her arms.

"What have you been doing Maxine? "Asks Bruce

"Mr. Wayne I left to get some food. "

"I mean what have you been doing on my computer? "Asks Bruce

"I was just looking though the files to see if there was anything on Anthony. "Max says struggling with the bag
"You had no right to go though my files! "Screams Bruce

Max isn't expecting this so she drops her bag and falls back into a chair.

"These files contain content that no one needs to see. You need to get out of here now!"

"No Mr. Wayne. You will not shut me out of this you think you're responsible for what happen to Terry don't you? Anthony is responsible for Terry not you and WE will find him together. What would Terry think if he found out that you killed yourself? Now if you want you can look through the dam files yourself but I will not leave until we find Terry."

Max is completely out of breath and a little angry with Bruce. She sees that what she said had gotten through to Bruce so she starts to calm down a bit.

"Besides I couldn't find a dam thing anywhere. I don't get it. Says Max

"That's because you weren't looking the right way." says Bruce

"What do you mean?"

"Anthony gave us a good clue when he let me see his face rather it was on purpose or not. like I said before he had to have gotten those injuries when he was very young so I'm been going through my files to find anyone who was injured badly then I've been going through hospitals records to see what happened to them after."

"If it's really that simple then why haven't you come up with anything?"

"All the records for any type of heavy injuries like the ones Anthony has for the past thirty years are gone."

"What? How can they be gone even if someone hack in and deleted the files they would have hard copies, right?"

"That's what I was checking last night but it seems like someone has broken in the records department and took everything.

"Wow this guy really doesn't want you to find him."

"It's not that max. It seems that he does want me to find him but he wants me to find him another way."
Bruce pauses for a few seconds while looking at max then continues.

"Look Max I'm sorry. "Says Bruce as he reaches down to pick up one of the snacks that fell out of the bag.

"I didn't mean to yell at you and. "Bruce says but Max cuts him off

"Wait' let me see your hand." Says Max has she reaches out and grabs Bruce's hand

"What is it?" Asks Bruce

"I think I know where I've seen Anthony before." Says Max with a stunned look on her face

Back in the new training room were Terry is still working out so to speak.

Up-close on Terry's Feline face we see his eyes are closed but as we pull our selves back we see that he is again holding himself up with one arm. With the lasers still buzzing around Terry is stuck about half way through the half a mile room. It would appear that Terry is again out of options. Then as one of the lasers just barely passes by his hand, Terry jumps up and over three lasers. With his new senses he sees another laser coming his way. Shifting his body weight Tarry forces himself to land on all fours. Then he flips forward with his feet first he clears four more the repeats that moment two more times.

Then he lands on his hands and turns counter clock wise then jumps down and slides across the floor. He misses the lasers by mere inches. Then with all his strength he slams his feet down and flips up and over the last few lasers. Terry is out of breath as he lands at the end of the room were Anthony is waiting. Terry just stands there as Anthony starts clapping at his success.

"That was wonder full Selene. You have greatly improved since you have arrived. "Says Anthony

Terry is glad that he got through that without a fault but he is happier that Anthony is happy with him. It is like before when he tried to feel one thing for Anthony but his body would just feel another.

"Now I think you should go back to your room and shower then rest. "Says Anthony

"I don't know about the resting part but I could sure use a good shower. "Terry says as if he did really enjoy what he was doing and with a big smile.

Then Terry realizes what he just said and how he said it. Terry is worried about what is happing to him. Terry is thinking so hard that he doesn't even notice that he and Anthony is heading to his room. It isn't until that they get to the room that Terry sees what he is doing.

"Is there something on your mind Selene? You look a bit distracted and didn't say a thing on the walk. "Says Anthony

"What have you done to me Anthony? Ever since you made me like this I don't feel like how I should. "Says Terry

"And what do you mean by how you should feel? You are much more powerful like this and I know you had fun in the training. I saw the look on your face you love this. "Says Anthony still in the door way

"No I wasn't enjoying it. I just I wanted to pass." Says Terry trying to remain calm

"Now Selene' don't you remember what I told you about the last trial. " Says Anthony

"Yes you said if I failed your last trial you let me go"

"Yes I did say that and I meant it."

"No wait' you said I failed you would let me go. I knew you said that and I wanted to lose at first and yet as soon as I started all I wanted to do was beat it."

"It was as if something inside me took over' something I cant control that wasn't me. It was me and at the same time' it wasn't."

"Oh it was you my dear Selene regardless of what you may think you like all this." Says Anthony

Terry just didn't want to deal with it. The longer he stays like the way he is' the more he loves it.

Terry glances over at the mirror and sees a smirk on he's face.

"No this isn't my face it's this girl you're trying to make me into! I don't want to be this thing and I will not steal what you want me to steal! "Screams Terry

"I think' you should think some more and rest Selene."

"NO! "Terry screams to Anthony's face

"I will not submit to this body and my name is not Selene its Terr."

Terry stops and falls screaming in pain onto the floor. His head is pounding and his body feels like it is tearing itself apart. Anthony runs over to him tries to help.

"What's wrong Selene? What's happing? "Asks Anthony while he holds Terry in his arms
Dread
Member 

#63 | Posted: 17 Feb 2012 22:09
 

Bursting into the lab is Anthony caring Terry while screaming I need help there's something wrong with Selene. Within seconds five unnamed doctors rush over and take Terry still in pain way from Anthony and sits him on a table.

What happened? "Asked unnamed Doctor 1

Anthony explains what happen to the doctors as fast as possible but as he did Terry screams and kicks out in horrible pain. Not only is Terry's body in pain but he is suffering from a massive migraine. The doctors try to hold him down but Terry is too strong for them. Anthony tells one of the doctors to get Doctor April Terry's main Doctor. Anthony then tries to hold Terry.

"What (stop to grunt in pain) are you doing (stop to grunt in pain) to me" Terry tries to say but the pain he is going through is making too hard to speak

"I swear I am not doing this to you. We are doing our best to stop this but we need to know what is going on. The last thing I won't is you hurt. "Says Anthony still trying to hold Terry down

Anthony tells another one of the doctors to get him the scanner and fast. Luckily the doctor didn't have to go far to get the scanner and tries useing it on Terry but with him still moving around and kicking it was making it difficult. Anthony is having little success holding Terry down so Anthony after being handed a needle injects Terry. Within seconds Terry's body goes lip. Pulling himself off of Terry Anthony sees that Terry is sweating badly and his breathing is getting shallow.

Then Anthony pulls the scanner away from the doctor and starts using it on Terry. Anthony holds the scanner over Terry and scans his whole body. One of the doctors standing behind Anthony sees the scan and says there is nothing there.

"What could be doing this? "Asks unnamed doctor 2

"Could it be a tumor in her brain that we couldn't see? "Asks another doctor

Anthony takes a set next to Terry to think. He knows it can't be a tumor with Terry's regenerating powers that wouldn't make since. It's as if his own body is killing itself Anthony says to the other doctors. Then Anthony thinks of something and goes up to Terry who it still awake and in great pain but is calm enough to listen.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully Selene. If you want this pain to stop you have to do as I say."

Terry knows if he is honest with Anthony then he could make the pain go away.

"Now I want you try thinking about when you were in the training room. "Says Anthony but sees that Terry is having a hard time focusing

"If you want the pain to stop then you need to concentrate on that moment."

Terry wants the pain to stop so Terry in his mind goes back to the training room and starts reminiscing about key moments and immediately starts feeling the same feeling that was making the training more pleasant.

Anthony sees that he is right by looking at the smile on Terry's face. Then Anthony pulls out another needle and puts Terry to sleep. Standing over Terry Anthony says out loud so the doctors would hear him' how interesting.

After a series of weird half remembered dreams Terry pulls himself out of his bed but it is his bed. As in his old bed and he is his old self he confirms that by looking under his sheets and sees his naked body.

"What the hell was that' a bad dream?" Terry asks himself

Walking in his room is Terry's mother looking like her old self asking if he is awake.

"Yes mom I'm awake I'll be there soon. "Terry says under his sheets

After his mom closes the door Terry looks at his window then sees that it is night time. Terry finds in odd that it is night which means that he was sleeping the whole day.
\
Terry pulls together an outfit and head to meet his family. Walking through the living room Terry sees that nothing has changed both his mother and little brother are just sitting on the couch watching the news.

"So did I miss anything? "Asks Terry as he takes a set on the couch next to his brother

" Yea Batman flow past me last night and I waved and he saw me. "Says Matt Almost pouncing up and down him on the couch

"I think you watch too much TV you little trope. Like Batman would fly around here. "Terry says trying not to laugh

"Like you would know .Batman saved me once and now we are good friends."

Terry sees the time and decides to go out for some air.

"Okey batboy I need to get some air' so I will be back later."

"And where are you going Terry? "Merry asks Terry

"Just going to meet up with some friends I'll be back later."

Terry grabs his backpack and leaves.

As he walks down the sidewalk Terry tries to think about the dream he had but finds that he is unable to remember everything. He decides that if he could forget about it that easily then it wasn't important. Thinking about it Terry decides to head over to Max's house to see what she is doing. As Terry continues walking to the subway something flying over head caches his attention.

"Am I the only one seeing this?" Terry thanks to himself

The sound of the people clapping and cheering around him tells Terry that everyone can see Batman flying over the city.

"What the hell is that? "Terry says to himself

Seeing that he needs to act fast Terry runs down the closes ally way. Looking around Terry sees no one around to see him change. So he pulls out his custom and quick pulls it on.

Then he climbs up the wall and jumps up and lands on the roof then looks up and watches Batman fly over his head.

"Now I wonder where he's going. "Says Terry with a big smile on his face

Pulling back we don't see Terry dressed as Batman but dressed as Catwoman. Covering his female cat body is the new Catwoman suit. It doesn't have a mask and the back was open so his lion's mane could be free, like his tail. It also has no boots and no gloves instead the ends of the sleeves and legs are wider and hung over his feet and hands. It has a utility belt that looks a lot like the one from the old bat suit. Right above the belt is an uncovered belly. The uncovered part starts right at the belt and end at the bottom of Terry's breasts. It would also appear that the cat suit has extra pockets strapped to Terry's outer thighs.

If I want to really enjoy tonight's outing I better see if I can make it harder for the big dark knight to catch me. "Says Selene just as she jumps up to the next roof following the love of her life' Batman.
Dread
Member 

#64 | Posted: 19 Feb 2012 01:56
 

Back to the batcave Max has returned from a quick trip to her home to get her computer so she can show Bruce what she has figured out. It had came to her when she saw how Bruce picked up the snack that fell out of the bag that Max was caring. The whole time she is going though her computer she kepts saying to herself how she should have seen this sooner, she needs to be smarter about this that kind of think. Bruce kepts asking Max to tell him what she is talking about.

After Bruce hooks up Max's computer to his computer Max starts to explain what she knows.

Saturday morning two and a half weeks before Terry gets taken by Anthony. Terry and Max are walking down a sidewalk talking back and forth.

"So what happen to you last Terry? I had to cover for you with Dana again which she had a big problem with like last time' I might add. "Says Max

"I had to deal with something last night."Terry answers

"And by something you mean bat stuff right? "Says Max whispering the last part

" The hell Max' we're in pubic you can't say stuff like that. "Says Terry

Max starts laughing but then trips and falls down. Terry then helps her back up to her feet.

You really need to watch your step Max and not joke around with my secret identity. "Says Terry with a more serious tone

"I'm just kidding Terry you need to lighten up when it comes to the thing you do after the sun goes down. "Max says still laughing

"So out of curiosity what was the thing you had to deal with? "Max asks after she stops laughing

"It was just some small gang war. It was over pretty quick but it was far out so it took me forever to get back. "Says Terry

"Now could we please talk about something else Max? I need to kelp that part of my life separate from this part. "Terry Asks

"Okay' do you want to know what you should do about Dana? "Asks Max

Max leads Terry in to a coffee shop so they could talk about how Terry was going to make up with Dana.

Bruce stops Max from telling that part by asking' and the paint of this is?

"Ok, I'll skip to the important part then. "Says Max trying to tell to story as fast as she can

"So as we were leaving the coffee shop I was too busy telling Terry what he should do about Dana to watch were I was walking and I bumped into this man who was walking inside and I dropped my muffin."

"Oh I'm so sorry I wasn't watching where I was going. "Says Max as she bends down so she can picked up the muffin

But the stranger already hads his left hand down to pick up the muffin. Max is surprised to see the stranger is already up with the muffin.

"That's ok little Ms. . "Says the stranger but with his hood down so nether Max or Terry can see his face

"It's entirely my fault I should have looked before I started walking. "Says the Stranger

The Stranger hands the muffin back to Max.

"Well I hoped I didn't hurt you mister. "Max says but stops because she does not know the man's name

"You can call me Tony little Ms. and I don't think you hurt me so I will leave you and you friend to this very beautiful day. "Tony says then starts heading into the shop

"Oh my name is Max and this is. "Says Max but Terry stops her by saying we have to go now

"Well then good bye Max and have a nice day. "Tony says then heads inside and max and Terry walks way

"Well that was very rude Terry' I was trying to be nice and you go and pull me away. "Max says sounding a little annoyed with Terry

"Look I just don't like to give out my name so someone I just meet. Especially someone that hides their face and gives me the creeps. "Says Terry

Max turns to look back at the door just as it's closes because she thinks she hears something but turns back at Terry.

"Fine' we have to get going anyway. Dana wants to tell you something."Says Max

"Well that sounds wonderful. "Says Terry

Again Bruce interrupts max by asking would you get to the point.

"The point is when I fell the first time l looked back and didn't realized that Tony was only a few people behind us.

"So you saying you think you two were being followed? "

"I'm saying that I saw him following us and when Terry and I were walking away (stops to take a deep breath) I thought for a second he whispered and you have a nice day 'Terry McGinnis. "Max says

"Did you use Terry's name before? "Bruce Asks

"I might have used his first name but I never said Terry McGinnis."

"Why didn't you mention this before and what does this have to with my hand? "Bruce asks

"I saw it when he picked up the muffin, I just didn't say anything, and even though he was wearing gloves Tony was missing two fingers on his left hand. It was just the way he held the muffin in his hand. "Max stops there and moves on the computer

Then she brings up a picture of Terry making a funny face when they were in the store ordering there drinks with the front window behind him.

"Look right there that's Tony is in the window with his back turned. He was watching us and look at the picture I took if you look closer you can tell he is missing some fingers on the left hand. "Max ends

"Tony, Tony is short for Anthony but that wound implied that he was watching Terry. "Bruce says with a worried look on his face

"But that's imposable Anthony would have to know that Terry was Batman to begin with." "Max says

"Wait. "Says Bruce as he got back on the computer and entered something into the search

"Now wait a minute how could he know that Terry is Batman and would he know about you? "Asks Max

"I don't know Max' but I think I know just where Anthony and I first meet before."

Then Bruce brings up an old file and a wave of shock runs over the room. The photo that Max and Bruce are looking at is a burning building with batman caring a small chilled out of the flames.

"Wow' is that you Mr. Wayne?"

"That was me once a pond a time Max. I wasn't always the old man you see me as. "Says Bruce braking a small smile

"Wait' is that boy in your arms? "She says with a shocked face

Yes I believe so Max. The boy that I saved many years ago in this picture is the man responsible for Terry's disappears.

Then broth Bruce and Max look at the picture more closerly and sees that the boy did have burns on his head and with the way he lead his arm out they had to zoom in a bit closer but they could tell that the boy indeed was missing fingers on his left hand.
Tsubasa8

Member 

#65 | Posted: 19 Feb 2012 10:55
 

i'm loving this story, keep up the great work
Tristra

Member 

#66 | Posted: 19 Feb 2012 18:14
 

Interesting twist coming up.
now we need to discover what Batman was saving the kid from
what tied him to the area.

also before you post you may want to have someone go over and read your stuff there are still some words being misused.
Still as I see this as a draft, not a big deal.
Dread
Member 

#67 | Posted: 19 Feb 2012 18:51
 

Sorry I didn't catch that made mistakes I'l try harder next time it is good that you guys are liking the story. More to come
Tristra

Member 

#68 | Posted: 20 Feb 2012 20:39
 

Not what I meant.
I see this as a draft,
things like that are going to happen.

just once it's done, have some people go over it and help you brush it up.
what is important now is the flow of the story and getting it all out on paper (well not exactly paper but still)
Dread
Member 

#69 | Posted: 3 Mar 2012 17:42
 

Terry springs out of his bed from shock from dream he was having. Terry not only sees that he is still in the white room but he's still a cat girl. It doesn't take long before Terry remembers what had happened before he passed out.

Terry thinks that Anthony was doing it, putting him through that horrible pain. He had to be sure though' and had to make sure Anthony couldn't tell what he is doing. So, Terry sitting at the end of the bed and takes in a deep breath and starts reminiscing about who he used to be but more importantly... what he looked liked.

Nothing special just Terry in what he always used to wear: a black t shirt and grayish pants but the second that image forms Terry feels the pain rising back up. Wanting to avoid that pain, Terry quickly drops that thought and focuses on what he is now. Quickly the same feeling that he is feels whenever he trains inside his new body rushes over him' sending him into a newfound bliss.

Before he's body language could have shown that he was still somewhat depressed about he's body that could've been how Anthony knew when to cause that pain' but just now there was no one in the room and he wasn't showing a thing. There is no way Anthony could have known what he is thinking' which means one thing...

"If I try to fight this body, these urges, my body goes at war with itself?" Terry thinks to himself

Terry then gets off the bed and walks over to the mirror to look at himself. Terry starts getting frustrated after a minute because he can't bring himself to say the words.

"My name is Te..." he tries to say but the pain starts creeping back up

If Terry ever wants to see his family and friends and more importantly to feel Dana's lips on his, he would have to do what Anthony wants him to do. Or more to the point, what Anthony wants her to do.

Taking in a deep breath and looking into the mirror, Terry says the words that he would have never said before this all started.

"My name is ......... Selene."

In the batcave Barbara walks in to see what Bruce has found.

"Bruce it's me." She says walking down the stairs

Barbara sees Bruce sitting at the computer and Max standing next to him.

"Well, Bruce you called me and said you have something." Says Barbara

"Yes, I believe we have found were Anthony and I first met. "Says Bruce

Bruce brings up the file which shows him carrying little Anthony out of a fire. Barbara looks at picture and tries to think of when it took place.

"Wasn't this one of your last cases Bruce?" Asks Barbara

"This was about two years before my last night as batman. "Says Bruce in a cold voice

"Not long after me, Dick, and Tim gave up your useless crusade and went on with our lives! "Barbara says as she takes a set behind Bruce

Bruce starts to explain that he received word about an unidentified villain and hostages.

October 12, 2017 12:45 pm

Batman arrives at the site and starts to evaluate what has happen and what he will do next. Looking down from the building he is standing on, he can see that the police were having trouble with negotiation and getting inside to stop whoever has taken the hostages. Bruce sees his old friend, Commissioner Jim Gordon trying to keep the crowd calm but having no luck.

"Now, I need you all to stay calm! We have the situation under control and we will end this peacefully." Jim Gordon Says with a megaphone

Over the screams of the crowd Gordon could hear most of the people say stuff like, "You call this under control my children are in there!" Most of the other parents in the crowd said other things but Gordon can already tell that this is going to get bad and Bruce can see it too. He knew needs to act fast.

Bruce jets over to the abandoned chemical plant where the hostages are being held. Landing on the roof, Bruce heads for the roof access door to get into the building. Stopping him is seven what looks like mercenaries walking all over the roof. Bruce then hides next to an air conditioner and waits for one of the men to get a little closer. It isn't hard for Bruce to take out the first man when he comes close enough. Bruce reaches up and grabs him by the neck and pulls him down and chokes him until he blacks out.

"Frank?" One of the other men calls out

Three of the men quickly realizes that Frank, the man Bruce has just taken out was gone and heads over to where he was last. Luckily Bruce has quietly worked his way to the other side and took out another man from behind. Then by throwing a batarang, Bruce Takes out another guy then hides again. The last remaining men then group together to watch their backs. Somehow Bruce sneaks in the middle and throws down a smoke boom and starts hitting and kicking while smothered in the smoke. Still he hits the men and soon the smoke clears and Bruce is left standing. Bruce grabs one of the men who is still semi-conscious and asks who hired him and where are the hostages.

The man answers Bruce by saying just one word and that's all it takes for Bruce to get who and why the hostages were taken in the first place. He says, "Strange..."

Bruce now knows that Doctor Hugo Strange is the one behind this. But why would he do this? Bruce knew where to find him.

Bruce heads for the roof access door and starts running down the stairs. Going through the first door Bruce sees that it leads to the highest catwalk. Batman could look down and see just about the whole chemical plant. He looked ahead and saw another mercenary walking that platform. Batman then throws a batarang and knocks him out, then throws another batarang at one of giant tanks that takes up most of the building. That batarang then starts sending out a high frequency pulse which only he could see. With each wave Batman, could see that there are 46 more mercenaries all over the building. Batman doesn't have the time to deal with all of them so he thinks he could head straight for the hostages.

It isn't long before Batman finds where the hostages where. Batman didn't know much about what happened. He didn't know where the hostage came from and who they were. Then Batman sees a Gotham city bus which tells him where the hostages came from. Why would Strange take a random bus of people? It didn't fit his normal pattern.

Batman finely comes across where the hostages are being held. Coming to a spanned walkway, Batman sees two metal containers held by cables over two opened tanks. Bruce could also hear some of the hostages inside the containers.

"Strange!" Bruce calls out knowing that he could hear him

"Welcome Batman! How was your trip? "Says Hugo Strange walking out from a control room near one of the containers

"I hope you didn't injurer any of my men too badly. I paid them pretty well to slow you down. " Says Hugo
"What are you after Strange? Kidnapping citizens doesn't fit your MO. "Batman says to Strange as he steps closer

"I'd stop right there if I were you Batman. Any closer and I could release the content of these two containers and we wouldn't want that would we. "Hugo Strange Says as he pulls out a device which could only a remote control for what is holding up the containers

Batman is forced to stay where he was in order to keep the hostage safe.

"Speaking of MO's Mr. Wayne' why are you still doing this? "Hugo Strange says

Bruce gives him a look which tells Strange that he didn't know what he was talking about.

"You see Mr. Wayne, I know why the super villain known as The Joker disappeared years ago. "Says Strange
Bruce is a shocked by what he said. What could he mean he knows? Only Barbara Tim and he knew what happen that night.

"You see Mr. Wayne, for years I have told you that you and Joker are two sides of the same coin. He was your yin to your yang without one the other cannot survive. "

"What's your point Strange? "Asks Bruce

"I have also notice that your partners have left you. Did they stop seeing the world from your point of view or did you send them away? You see Mr. Wayne; I think you will not be with us for much longer. Without Joker to challenge and test you, I'm afraid that you will give up your crusade against the likes of the Joker and all the other villains like him and before that happens... I just had to take this opportunity."

"What opportunity? "Asks Batman as he without Strange seeing pulls out a small batarang

"For years I've kept the secret of who is underneath that mask. Any time I tried to tell the world your secret, you somehow outsmarted me but not tonight. "Says Strange

"The challenge I give to you tonight has three choices."

"To my right we have some of Gotham wealthiest citizens courtesy of the Gotham modern arts museum not far from here. To my left we have just some of Gotham regular citizens that my men picked up few hours ago. "Says Strange

"Now like I said before Mr. Wayne, you have three choices here. You can save one of these containers Mr. Wayne just one. To save one would be death for the other I want you to show me which one you value most. The upper class citizens who with all their money and power who do nothing about the crime in the city except throw some money here and there or, the lower-class who try so hard to live in the city but still are themselves more pathetic then the upper class who don't do anything to help them. Now I know Bruce Wayne has done what he can to help the lesser class but tell me which do think the city can do without' a few meaningless lower-class citizens or a few high-class meaninglessly members" says Hugo strange

"None of those people are more or less important than the other." Says Batman trying to keep Strange distracted

"I figured you say that Mr. Wayne so with that said my third option is for you to take off your mask and show everyone outside who you are. I'm sure they will go easy on you from all the good work you've done over the last few years." Strange says while gesturing to the hostages

"Take your time to think about it Mr. Wayne. You ARE getting too old for this."

Strange sees that Batman has come up with the same conclusion that there is nothing he can do but surrender.
Not wanting to show Hugo
Dread
Member 

#70 | Posted: 3 Mar 2012 17:44
 

Strange sees that Batman has come up with the same conclusion that there is nothing he can do but surrender.
Not wanting to show Hugo strange that he has him in a corner Batman says in his rough tone," No matter what sick game you come up with Strange, I will never give up! Not ever."

Strange starts to laugh but stops when he realizes that someone was banging on one of the containers from the inside. It distracts him for just a second but that's all that Batman needs and with one good swing. He throws his batarang and hopes he has made the right choice...
Tristra

Member 

#71 | Posted: 4 Mar 2012 19:30
 

The dialogue is a little more clumsy in this one.

I like that Terry is fighting and trying to resist and that you are trying to put some Logic to it.
However This fight would have been better established earlier and worked more over time.
This creates a progressive struggle and establishes a more deep drive for Terry.
but you do have an out as Anthony did have to do something to get the pain to stop and that may have loosened something.
If that is the case then you will NEED to let the reader in on it soon or this is going to seem far fetched.

Yes Barbra has regrets, but her regrets have never been shown to be in what Her and the others were doing as sidekicks of Batman,
it was more in where they ended up and how Bruce couldn't let go in the end.
she loved Bruce for a long time. so her calling the fight that her and Robin and batman had tried to keep up as a team as useless is out of character.

The choice that Hugo Strange gives Batman is a bit over played, and kinda leads away from your original premise of being connected to the Selina cat woman event, but that may come out a little later. Not sure how.

I'm not all that familiar with Hugo Strange but what I know of him is he is a petty criminal with a doctors background mental issues and a secret that even he may doubt. Not sure how he fits into this in the long run.

I look forward to seeing more but please do not rush.
Feel the story out and give it solid thought.
Dread
Member 

#72 | Posted: 4 Mar 2012 23:51
 

Sorry if it didn't make much sense to you all, I promise as the story continues this all makes more sense ,hopefully. As for the dialogue if it seems clumsy I apologize for that.

Hopefully I'll be posting more often than before. The reasons for why it's been slow is mostly because my story editor doesn't actually want to do it, but that's beside the point. Thanks for the honest feedback.
Tristra

Member 

#73 | Posted: 5 Mar 2012 14:05 | Edited by: Tristra
 

the over all story makes sense,
What I'm saying is the individual pieces have little foundation and need some polish to make them fit together completely.

Stop apologizing, since this is a draft it's going to need work,
I bring up what I do because if it's not mentioned it may be over looked later and you may not learn from it and get better.

The trick of a good story is to get to a point where the reader doesn't see the grammar or text and just gets an impression of what is happening, and if your lucky follows a feeling you have laid out.

If there were anything I would say is "wrong" with this work it's that you write it very close to the suspense plotting of a cartoon,
having cutaways when scenes are just about to reveal then returning later to fill that out at or near the end is something that came about due more to commercials than to good storytelling.
Readers can be let in on many secrets, they should not always be kept in the dark. a single big reveal may be secret or a small hand full of secrets that give a surprise at the end, but even if the Hero doesn't know what is going on it's OK to let the reader know.
What you want is the relationship that Bastian and Atreyu have In "the never ending story". (The first one not the sequels, they were just for making money not good story telling)
Try to watch that if you can. When you get down to it Atreyu is Bastian's eyes and ears in the story, but Bastian sees things coming, he sees "the nothing", he knows where G'mork will attack from before the hero, and that knowing creates a suspense all its own. that's why when you get the cut aways back to Bastian reading the book you KNOW something big has happened that Atreyu may not understand.

The cutaways works for Cartoons because things are visually moving and relatively short,
they are nonstop so it cycles back around to the scene soon enough and can keep you entertained all the way.
But when reading, a scene break can often kill the mood and can be frustrating if over used.
There is less visual in a written story, but that does not mean less interaction.
In fact people will commonly make a deeper connection with a book than they will with a TV show because there imagination fills in the gaps and makes the world more real just for them.
If they just get to the gaps and it cuts away to something completely different then you can leave the reader confused,
you do it to often and you just wind up with frustrated them.

But even here you have a lot of leeway there is nothing "Wrong" with a scene shift, but before a cut away just ask yourself.
"Does this HAVE to happen now?"
"Is this a complete scene and not just a snapshot of something else?"
and "Does it give vital information that the reader needs?"
If it can wait in favor of things that need to be said then let it wait.
If it's just some cut away of just a few lines, then try to work it into some other scene. your not setting the frames like in a TV show, your laying out the plot and mood for your characters in a both Broader and more specific sense, because you can cover there thoughts, there feelings, what specifically they see and how they feel about it. not just what is in the scene and what they are doing there.
If it is not Vital to the plot, then try to squeeze it into another scene and not make it a scene on its own.
Always remember, you will seldom EVER fit it all in, there are things you will become attached to that you just have to let go of in favor of making your story more understandable or flow better.

Watching a TV show is about like Voyeurism, your peeking in to the show through a window.
Reading a book is interactive even if the reader makes no active choices, there imaginations make them a part of the experience, so it needs to be cohesive and it has to drive on feeling, as much if not more than look.

You have something good here, it's rough but it's good.
You show a potential that many TG writers neglect, the desire to tell a real story and not just a self gratifying scene.
It takes some careful work but keep at it. all my poking is just to keep you going.
I will give advice but I will never tell you what your story should be.

I look forward to seeing more.
Dread
Member 

#74 | Posted: 8 Apr 2012 00:29
 

I know I said, that there wouldn't be too long periods between posts. I've been going over what's been done so far, and been doing some major corrections. That way when the whole things posted, I'll make a file of the whole error free story. Also I got smaller stories that I was thinking of posting pretty soon.
Tsubasa8

Member 

#75 | Posted: 8 Apr 2012 05:21
 

that's kewl Dread. I don't want to sound like a fanboy, but i check here like once a day for an update lol. I'm interested to see what else you have in that mind of yours.
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